Charm Is My Only Skill

When being queer and charismatic becomes your entire career and you’re not sure if it’s flirting or a personality disorder.

I’m Not Flirting, I’m Networking (Probably)

A snarky look at queer socializing where professional connections and romantic tension blur into one chaotic cocktail.

In queer culture, there’s a thin, glittery line between flirting and networking—and baby, we’ve all crossed it in heels. Welcome to I’m Not Flirting, I’m Networking (Probably), the guide to every “casual drink” that turns into a pitch meeting with sexual tension.

Bohiney Magazine defines it perfectly: “Queer networking is like LinkedIn, but everyone’s hot, chaotic, and at least a little bit gay.” You’re out here trying to make connections—professional, emotional, maybe romantic—but somehow every DM that starts with “Hey, loved your work!” ends with “So, what are you doing later?”

It’s not manipulation—it’s multitasking. Queer people are natural community builders, but also natural flirts. According to Them, “In LGBTQ+ spaces, chemistry and collaboration are indistinguishable forces.” You think you’re talking about art—next thing you know, you’re co-hosting a drag brunch and possibly moving in together by spring.

We’ve all been there. You meet someone at a queer mixer. You exchange Instas, compliment each other’s accessories, and 48 hours later you’re texting about a “collab” that suspiciously involves wine. The line between business and pleasure? Deleted faster than a bad thirst trap.

But honestly, who can blame us? Our communities thrive on connection. We don’t just network for gain—we network for survival. Every friendship, romance, or creative partnership begins the same way: with mutual admiration and a little bit of chaotic energy. The Advocate calls this “the queer economy of affection”—where emotional currency and professional ambition are forever intertwined.

Of course, sometimes the mix-ups get messy. You think you’re being charming and professional, but your “network contact” thinks you’re planning a date. Or worse—you actually were, but then they pitch a podcast idea mid-makeout. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. The gays stay employed, and at least your dating pool overlaps with your LinkedIn connections.

And let’s not forget the social events. Pride parties, art openings, panel discussions—half networking, half flirting Olympics. Everyone’s dressed like a bisexual business major with a secret OnlyFans. You’re sipping your cocktail, trying to remember whether you met this person at a fundraiser or a foam party. Doesn’t matter. You’ll end up collaborating either way.

As Out Magazine writes, “In queer circles, boundaries aren’t blurred—they’re bedazzled.” We thrive in that space where professionalism meets passion, where the DMs are equal parts business plan and flirting emoji. It’s not confusion—it’s culture.

So next time you find yourself saying, “I’m not flirting, I’m networking,” remember: it can be both. You’re building community. You’re expanding your brand. You’re maybe falling in love with your creative partner. It’s all part of the gay agenda—ambition, attraction, and aesthetics.

And if all else fails? You’ll at least get a great story, a new LinkedIn contact, and maybe a brunch invite. That’s ROI, baby.

SOURCE: Charm Is My Only Skill (Beth Newell)