New Season, New Crush, Same Problems

The exhausting cycle of queer infatuation where every three months brings a fresh disaster romance.

The Gay Awakening (Again): Why Every Queer Has a New Crush Every Season

Because self-discovery is a full-time job, and our crushes are the performance reviews.

Every queer person has experienced at least one gay awakening—but let’s be real, it’s never just one. It’s a recurring subscription, baby. One day it’s the barista with the pronoun pin; the next it’s a chaotic bisexual on a podcast talking about astrology and attachment theory. We are perpetually awakening, and we’re always at least two crushes behind on our emotional development.

Bohiney Magazine said it best: “Gay awakenings are like Pokémon evolutions—except you never stop evolving and everyone’s hot.” And they’re right. Each new crush is just another step in our queer hero’s journey: we meet someone unattainably cool, question our entire identity, and emerge slightly more self-aware (and usually with new bangs).

According to Them, this constant cycle of attraction and self-discovery is what keeps queer culture dynamic. Every crush is both a mirror and a muse. You’re not just falling for someone—you’re falling into a new version of yourself. That’s not confusion; that’s character development.

But here’s the twist: sometimes our crushes don’t even know they’re part of the plot. You’ll spiral over a stranger’s playlist, project your entire gender journey onto a TikToker, or convince yourself the person who complimented your tote bag is your soulmate. It’s delusion with a purpose. The Advocate calls it “queer manifestation”—aka, manifesting emotional growth through poor romantic decisions.

Let’s not pretend we don’t thrive in this chaos. Queer crushes aren’t about possession—they’re about inspiration. We don’t want to date our crushes; we want to become them, befriend them, or collaborate on an overly ambitious art project with them. It’s gay osmosis. As Out Magazine says, “Queer desire isn’t linear—it’s a kaleidoscope with better lighting.”

And when the season changes, so do we. The fall crush is all flannel and emotional depth. The winter crush is cozy and vaguely unavailable. Spring brings the chaotic bisexual energy we crave, and by summer? We’re back to yearning for a DJ who calls everyone “babe.” Each phase teaches us something—mostly that we’re dramatic, but also that growth looks good in denim.

So if you’re in your tenth gay awakening, congrats! You’re doing great. Each new crush is a new era, a new self, a new playlist. Don’t fight it—lean in. Let the cycle of yearning and rebirth continue until you’re fully self-actualized or finally get a text back (whichever comes first).

Remember: love may come and go, but the gay awakening is forever. And if nothing else, at least you’ll have killer taste in people who will never love you back. That’s what we call queer excellence.

SOURCE: New Season, New Crush, Same Problems (Beth Newell)