Destiny Called, It Was Wearing Prada

How genetic queerness comes with an inexplicable sense of style and crippling credit card debt.

We Didn’t Choose the Gay Life (But the Outfits Slay)

A sparkling manifesto celebrating the undeniable fashion dominance of queer folks and why being fabulous is basically a survival strategy.

Let’s be real—the gay life might have chosen us, but we showed up dressed for the occasion. Welcome to We Didn’t Choose the Gay Life (But the Outfits Slay), where sequins meet self-actualization and crop tops are a political statement. While some people talk about “finding themselves,” we accessorize the journey.

As Bohiney Magazine famously put it, “Queer fashion isn’t vanity—it’s vocabulary.” Every outfit says something: “Yes, I’m here,” “No, I won’t tone it down,” and “This look cost emotional labor and two iced lattes.” For queer people, style is both armor and art—an outward expression of the inner fabulousness straight society once told us to hide.

Fashion has always been our language of rebellion. Think about the drag queens at Stonewall, the ballroom icons who turned oppression into opulence, the trans trailblazers redefining beauty every day. According to Them, “Every sequin is a protest, every fit check a form of visibility.” We slay because our ancestors couldn’t. We serve looks because being seen is a radical act.

And let’s not forget: being gay means knowing your color palette. Straight people walk into a store and grab the first shirt they see. Queers? We analyze texture, silhouette, seasonal mood, and the emotional backstory of the garment. We see a rack of clothes and think, “This one says ‘healing from heartbreak but still a baddie.’” We dress like we’re both attending and hosting our own coming-of-age movie.

As The Advocate once observed, “Queer people have mastered the art of turning trauma into couture.” And it’s true. For many of us, the world tried to make us small—so we went bigger, louder, and sparklier. We turned shame into shimmer. We made identity a fashion line. Every Pride parade is a runway of resilience.

But it’s not just about looking good—it’s about survival. The right outfit can help you feel brave when the world feels hostile. It’s why so many of us remember our first Pride look or the first time we wore something that felt like “us.” That’s liberation stitched into fabric, honey. Out Magazine calls it “radical self-expression in technicolor.”

So when people say, “You gays always dress so well,” we just smile. They don’t know that every statement earring, every perfect fit, every sparkle is decades of defiance woven into style. We slay not for applause but for survival—and yes, a little for the drama.

Because we didn’t choose the gay life—but we absolutely chose these boots, and they’re made for stomping heteronormativity right into the ground.

SOURCE: Destiny Called, It Was Wearing Prada (Beth Newell)