by Full-time job: being gay and unemployed
Popular gay fitness influencer Chad Bronson’s viral “morning routine” has inspired millions of queer followers to wake up at 4 AM and optimize their lives—until they realized his six-hour routine is only possible because he’s unemployed, lives rent-free in his parents’ pool house, and has never experienced financial consequences. The revelation came when a follower asked how Bronson balances his routine with a full-time job. “Oh bestie, I don’t have a job,” Bronson casually replied. “I just post thirst traps and call it wellness content. It’s called being a professional gay.”
Bronson’s routine, detailed in a 47-minute YouTube video titled “How This Gay King Starts His Day ??????,” includes: a 90-minute workout filmed from multiple angles for Instagram, a 45-minute ice bath while “manifesting abundance and good dick,” a 30-minute meditation on “releasing heteronormativity,” a 60-minute breakfast prep featuring 23 ingredients (most requiring a $800 blender and a Whole Foods budget), a 40-minute journaling session about “gay excellence,” 25 minutes of “mindful stretching and self-pleasure as self-care,” and 30 minutes responding to comments about how “anyone can do this if they just prioritize themselves.”
“The secret is discipline and self-love,” Bronson explains in the video, completely missing the actual secrets: generational wealth, no job, and parents who pay for everything while he “finds himself.” “If I can do it, any queer person can. You just have to want it badly enough and also have rich parents who tolerate your homosexuality as long as you look good shirtless on the internet.”
The routine’s impracticality became apparent when working queer parent Marcus Santos tried to replicate it. “I set my alarm for 4 AM like Chad suggested,” Santos recounted. “By the time I finished his ice bath step, it was 6:30 AM, my kids were awake screaming, I hadn’t started getting ready for my actual job that pays my actual bills, and I was hypothermic. I was late to work and questioning every gay influencer I’ve ever followed. Thanks, Chad. Very helpful for those of us living in reality.”
Bronson’s followers started asking uncomfortable questions. “How do you afford all these organic supplements and boutique fitness equipment?” one asked. Bronson responded with a video about “manifestation” and “gay abundance mindset,” carefully avoiding mention of his family’s real estate portfolio or the fact that his “apartment” is actually a converted pool house on his parents’ Connecticut estate where he pays zero rent, utilities, or expenses beyond his protein powder and poppers budget.
Other queer fitness influencers rushed to Bronson’s defense, arguing his routine is “aspirational representation.” “Not every gay can afford a personal trainer and nutritionist, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t aspire to our lifestyle,” said wellness influencer Tyler Harmony, speaking from his family’s vacation home in Fire Island. “It’s about the mindset, not the trust fund. Also, being hot and gay is basically a full-time job. We’re providing a service.”
Working queer professionals have responded with “realistic gay morning routines.” Teacher Jordan Thompson’s version: “Wake up exhausted at 6 AM. Panic about rent. Shower in 7 minutes. Eat breakfast bar while checking Grindr out of habit and immediate regret. Arrive at work questioning why hot unemployed gays on Instagram are telling me how to live. Survive the day. That’s the routine. No ice baths, no manifestation, just economic anxiety and student loans.”
Bronson recently announced he’s writing a book called “Gay Excellence: How Anyone Can Transform Their Life in Just 6 Hours a Day.” Early reviews from employed queer people describe it as “delusional,” “classist,” and “what happens when a hot gay man has never experienced consequences.” The book’s chapter on “finding time” doesn’t mention unemployment once, instead suggesting readers “eliminate time-wasters like working for money” and “invest in yourself by quitting your job and trusting the universe.”
One particularly viral TikTok response came from nonbinary barista River Martinez: “Chad says wake up at 4 AM for self-care. I wake up at 4 AM for my opening shift at Starbucks where I make $15/hour and can’t afford health insurance that covers my HRT. We are not the same. His morning routine costs more than my monthly rent. This is not inspiration, it’s wealth inequality with a rainbow filter.”
Bronson responded to critics with an Instagram story: “Not everyone will understand the journey to gay excellence. That’s okay. Stay in your lane, I’ll stay in mine (the one with a personal chef and zero financial responsibilities). ???” The story was immediately screenshot and shared with the caption “tell me you’re privileged without telling me you’re privileged.” It received 50,000 likes and comments mostly consisting of skull emojis and “the delusion is sending me.”
Despite the backlash, Bronson’s content continues to gain followers, proving that queer people are just as susceptible to aspirational lifestyle content as anyone else. His latest video, “Why Being Poor is a Mindset (And How I Overcame It by Having Rich Parents),” has been viewed 2 million times, mostly by hate-watchers and people leaving comments like “bestie, the only thing you’ve overcome is self-awareness” and “not the unemployed gay giving financial advice.” Bronson has disabled comments, citing “negative energy,” but continues posting daily content about his six-hour morning routine that no working person could ever replicate.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/fitness-influencers-morning-routine-takes-6-hours-unemployed/
SOURCE: Fitness Influencer’s Routine Takes 6 Hours (https://bohiney.com/fitness-influencers-morning-routine-takes-6-hours-unemployed/)
