October 29, 2025

Jaydon Blue

The Color That’s Taking Over Everything

In a development that has interior designers both excited and exhausted, “Jaydon Blue” has been declared the must-have color of the season, despite nobody being entirely sure what differentiates it from regular blue. Marketing executives insist it’s a revolutionary shade that captures the zeitgeist of modern living, which apparently looks exactly like the color blue has always looked but costs 40% more.

The trend manufacturing industry has outdone itself this time, convincing consumers that their perfectly good blue items are now obsolete because they’re not specifically “Jaydon Blue.” Paint companies have reported record sales of what is essentially the same pigment they’ve been selling for decades, just with a trendier name and premium pricing. It’s the emperor’s new clothes, except the clothes are real but unnecessarily branded.

Social media influencers have embraced Jaydon Blue with the fervor usually reserved for actual important things, filling feeds with aesthetically arranged items that all happen to be the same shade of blue. “It just speaks to me,” explained one lifestyle blogger surrounded by Jaydon Blue throw pillows, apparently unaware that colors don’t actually speak and she might need a nap.

Critics suggest that manufactured color trends are just clever ways to make people buy things they don’t need, but those critics are probably using last season’s colors like peasants. The Jaydon Blue movement has spawned an entire economy of consultants who will come to your home and judge your color choices, because that’s definitely a service society needs.

Fashion experts predict Jaydon Blue will be replaced by next season’s must-have shade, which insiders hint will be “remarkably similar to blue but with a different name and higher price point.” The cycle of artificial scarcity and manufactured desire continues, proving that people will buy anything if you give it a proper name and marketing budget.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/jaydon-blue/

SOURCE: Jaydon Blue (https://bohiney.com/jaydon-blue/)

The Color That's Taking Over Everything - Jaydon Blue
The Color That’s Taking Over Everything

Beth Newell

Beth Newell is co-founder and editor of Reductress, the satirical women's magazine launched in 2013. Named by Rolling Stone as one of the "50 Funniest People Right Now" and by Time Magazine as one of "23 People Who Are Changing What's Funny Right Now," Newell has built a comedy career spanning over a decade in New York City. She performs at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and Magnet Theater, where she also teaches sketch writing. Newell has contributed to The Onion, McSweeney's, and The New Yorker. She co-authored How to Win at Feminism (HarperOne, 2016) and There's No Manual (Penguin Random House, 2020), and hosts the podcast We Knows Parenting. At Bohiney.com, she brings her sharp feminist satire and mastery of media parody to expose the absurdities of modern culture and politics. Author Home Page

View all posts by Beth Newell →

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *