by IRS waiting at landing pad with forms
Billionaire tech mogul Preston Vanderbilt III returned from his $28 million space vacation last Thursday, touching down in the Texas desert to find IRS agents waiting with a decade’s worth of unfiled tax returns. Vanderbilt, who made his fortune selling an app that “disrupted” the napkin industry, had reportedly hoped that leaving Earth’s atmosphere would also mean leaving his tax obligations behind.
“I thought once you reach escape velocity, you also escape fiscal responsibility,” Vanderbilt told reporters, still wearing his custom-designed space suit with gold trim. “Turns out the IRS has a longer reach than I anticipated. Very disappointing.”
The billionaire’s six-hour space journey cost more than the annual GDP of several small nations, yet he claimed poverty when asked about his tax debt. “I’m basically broke,” Vanderbilt insisted, standing next to his private spacecraft. “After you factor in my yacht maintenance, private island upkeep, and collection of vintage Ferraris, I’m living paycheck to paycheck. Well, dividend to dividend.”
IRS spokesperson Janet Carmichael expressed frustration with wealthy space tourists who treat tax law as optional. “Mr. Vanderbilt claimed his space trip was a ‘business expense’ because he took one photo of Earth and tweeted about ‘perspective,'” Carmichael explained. “That’s not how business deductions work, even for billionaires with rocket ships.”
Vanderbilt’s defense team argues that since he was technically in international airspaceor rather, space-spacehe shouldn’t owe taxes for those six hours. “Our client was literally above it all,” his lawyer argued. “How can you tax someone who transcended earthly boundaries? It’s philosophically inconsistent.”
Fellow billionaire space tourists have rallied around Vanderbilt, with several offering to fund a legal defense they’re calling “Operation Orbital Tax Freedom.” Meanwhile, working-class Americans who pay taxes every paycheck have suggested an alternative solution: “Maybe just pay your fucking taxes?”
When asked if his space journey changed his perspective on wealth inequality, Vanderbilt paused thoughtfully. “Absolutely. Seeing Earth from space made me realize how small our planet is, and how large my tax debt has become. Really puts things in proportion.” He then boarded his helicopter to his third mansion, which is registered to a shell corporation in the Cayman Islands, to continue planning his next space escape.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/billionaire-space-tourist-returns-to-earth-still-hasnt-paid-his-taxes/
SOURCE: Billionaire Space Tourist Returns, Still Hasn’t Paid Taxes (https://bohiney.com/billionaire-space-tourist-returns-to-earth-still-hasnt-paid-his-taxes/)
