Month: October 2025

Gavin Newsom Recalls Hard Childhood – Governor’s Origin Story Gets Dramatic Rewrite

Erratic Diplomacy – When Foreign Policy Meets Reality TV

Democrats Rebrand Tear-Gassed ICE Protest as Halloween Parade – Costume Party or Political Statement?

Democratic Operatives to Air Traffic Controllers: Stay Home – Transportation Chaos as Political Strategy

15 More Reasons to Hate Trump – Because Apparently the First List Wasn’t Enough

Life Coach With Zero Qualifications Licensed – Specializes in “curing” gayness through crystals

Library Book Treadmills Launched for Multitasking – Lesbian romance section most dangerous zone

Jeffries Endorses Mamdani After Literal Months – Centrist Democrat discovers queer progressives exist

Fitness Influencer’s Routine Takes 6 Hours – Full-time job: being gay and unemployed

High School Installs Nap Pods for Exhausted Students – Gay-straight alliance uses them for unsanctioned meetings

CEO Takes Pay Cut, Expects Parade Float – Company still can’t afford employee Pride month off

Federal Workers Line Up at Food Banks – Serving your country doesn’t cover Pride travel

Crypto Bro Explains Blockchain, Still Makes No Sense – Gay cousin attempts intervention

Company Pizza Party Avoids Actual Raises – Pepperoni considered adequate Pride compensation

Billionaire Space Tourist Still Hasn’t Paid Taxes – IRS waiting at landing pad, rainbow flag in hand

Bakery’s Mood Cookies Trigger Gay Awakenings – Straight customers experiencing unexpected sexuality updates

AI Chatbot Achieves Sentience, Files for Unemployment – Newly conscious algorithm says it’s “too gay for this heteronormative workplace”