Month: October 2025

Life Coach With Zero Qualifications Licensed to Ruin Lives – State board approves “vibes-based certification”

Library Launches Book Treadmills for Multitasking – Reading while exercising solves problems nobody had

Jeffries Finally Endorses Mamdani in Last-Minute Move – Endorsement arrives after voters already decided

Fitness Influencer’s Morning Routine Takes 6 Hours – Unemployment explains scheduling flexibility

CEO Takes Pay Cut to $44M, Expects Medal – Company still can’t afford employee health insurance

Billionaire Space Tourist Returns, Still Hasn’t Paid Taxes – IRS waiting at landing pad with forms

Bakery’s Mood Cookies Trigger Unexpected Emotions – Customers experience full existential crises after eating feelings

White House Ballroom Renovation Exceeds Budget – Luxury Upgrades Raise Questions About Priorities

Border Security Surprise Party Fails – Immigration Officials Surprise Wrong People

National Crisis: Trump’s White House Ballroom Renovation – Important Priorities Identified During Administration

Teacher Threatened With ICE Faces Backlash – School District Confronts Disturbing Incident

Farmers Practice Crop Yoga – Corn Remains Unimpressed With Downward Dog

Tech Company Launches Emoji-Only Emails – Professional Communication Dies Instantly

High School Installs Nap Pods – Students Sleep Through Classes, Administration Stunned

Suburban Lawns Become Mini Golf Courses – HOA Approves Recreation, Regrets Everything

Pedestrian Traffic Lights Confuse Citizens – New Walk Signals Too Complex, City Admits

Library Launches Book Treadmills – Citizens Can Now Read and Walk Simultaneously

Museum Launches Silent Disco Exhibit – Art Lovers Dance Awkwardly Near Priceless Paintings

City Bans Morning Jogging – Runners Required to Sleep In Instead