National Crisis: Trump’s White House Ballroom Renovation
by National Crisis: Trump’s White House Ballroom Renovation – Important Priorities Identified During Administration
Author: Beth Newell
Beth Newell was born in a small Texas town where the church bulletin often read like unintentional comedy. After attending a Texas public university, she set her sights on Washington, D.C., where she sharpened her pen into a tool equal parts humor and critique. As a satirist and journalist, Newell has been recognized for her ability to turn political jargon into punchlines without losing sight of the underlying stakes. Her essays and columns appear in Dublin Opinion’s sister outlets and U.S. literary journals, while her commentary has been featured on media panels examining satire as civic engagement. Blending Texas storytelling grit with D.C.’s high-stakes theatrics, Newell is lauded for satire that informs as it entertains. She stands as an authoritative voice on how humor exposes power, hypocrisy, and the cultural blind spots of American politics.
High School Installs Nap Pods
High School Installs Nap Pods – Students Sleep Through Classes, Administration Stunned
Tech Company Launches Emoji-Only Emails
Tech Company Launches Emoji-Only Emails – Professional Communication Dies Instantly
Library Launches Book Treadmills
Library Launches Book Treadmills – Citizens Can Now Read and Walk Simultaneously
Pedestrian Traffic Lights Confuse Citizens
Pedestrian Traffic Lights Confuse Citizens – New Walk Signals Too Complex, City Admits
Suburban Lawns Become Mini Golf Courses
Suburban Lawns Become Mini Golf Courses – HOA Approves Recreation, Regrets Everything
Mindfulness Latte Leaves Customers Meditating Too Long
Mindfulness Latte Leaves Customers Meditating Too Long – Coffee Shop Victims Achieve Enlightenment, Miss Meetings
City Bans Morning Jogging
City Bans Morning Jogging – Runners Required to Sleep In Instead
Museum Launches Silent Disco Exhibit
Museum Launches Silent Disco Exhibit – Art Lovers Dance Awkwardly Near Priceless Paintings
TikTok Teens Fail Staring Contest Record
TikTok Teens Fail Staring Contest Record – Generation Z Blinks at Critical Moment
Zoo Installs Wi-Fi for Pandas
Zoo Installs Wi-Fi for Pandas – Bamboo-Eating Bears Now Stream Entertainment
City Mandates Fun Hour
City Mandates Fun Hour – Citizens Required to Pretend They’re Enjoying Themselves
San Francisco Military Presence Increases
San Francisco Military Presence Increases – Deployment Raises Community Concerns
Reading Skills Hit Historic Low
Reading Skills Hit Historic Low – National Literacy Crisis Worsens
Bisexuality Is the Ultimate Multitasking Skill
Opinion: Why Bisexuality Is the Ultimate Multitasking Skill in a Monogamous World Introduction: The Art of Loving Efficiently In a society obsessed with multitasking—checking emails …
Drag Queens Unionize
Exclusive: Drag Queens Unionize, Demand Better Wig Reimbursement and Unlimited Lip Sync Breaks Introduction: Labor Movement Gets a Makeover In a move that economists are …
Pride Parade Canceled
Pride Parade Canceled Due to Overabundance of Fabulousness – City Officials Cite ‘Too Much Slay’ Risk Introduction: When Fabulousness Becomes a Public Safety Hazard In …
Local Man Finally Comes Out as Straight
Local Man Finally Comes Out as Straight: Community Rallies with Emergency Glitter Intervention A Bohiney.com Satirical Exclusive By Roxy Blazerfield, Staff Satirist at Bohiney Magazine—Certified …
Jeffries’ Fashionably Late Endorsement
Jeffries’ Fashionably Late Endorsement – House Leader Shows Up After Everyone’s Gone Home