by Corn Remains Unimpressed With Downward Dog
A group of Iowa farmers has embraced “Agricultural Mindfulness Yoga,” a new farming technique that involves performing yoga poses in crop fields to “harmonize energy with the plants and promote growth through positive vibrations.” The practice, introduced by wellness consultant Crystal Whitmore during a particularly boring agricultural conference, has resulted in bemused corn, confused soybeans, and farmers who are more flexible but not noticeably better at farming.
The movement gained traction after Whitmore published a self-help book titled “Namaste in the Corn: Finding Your Zen Through Crop Yoga,” which sold surprisingly well among farmers desperate for anything to break up the monotony of rural life. The book claims that plants respond to human energy fields and that performing sun salutations in soybean fields can increase yields by up to 30%. Agricultural scientists note there’s “absolutely zero evidence for any of this” and “maybe stop listening to people who’ve never farmed,” but several farmers report they’re too invested now to back out without embarrassment.
Fifty-seven-year-old farmer Tom Henderson has incorporated daily yoga sessions into his routine, performing downward dog between corn rows while his crops presumably wonder what’s happening. “I feel more connected to my land,” Henderson explained while stretching in a wheat field. “Whether the plants care is unclear, but my back pain has improved, so that’s something.” His neighbor reports the corn yields are identical to previous years, suggesting the plants are “deeply neutral about the yoga situation,” but Henderson’s newfound flexibility has improved his quality of life, which nobody can argue with.
The practice has attracted attention from wellness communities who see it as a beautiful merger of agriculture and mindfulness, and from agricultural experts who see it as “a waste of time that could be spent on actual farming techniques with proven results.” Several LGBTQ+ farmers have joined the movement, with one noting that “rural farming life can be isolating, so honestly any excuse to gather with other farmers and do something weird together is welcome, even if it’s crop yoga that definitely doesn’t work.”
Critics within the farming community have been vocal. “This is the dumbest thing I’ve seen in forty years of farming,” said veteran farmer Margaret Walsh. “Plants don’t care about your chakras. They care about soil quality, water, and nitrogen. Maybe focus on that instead of warrior pose in the wheat field.” Agricultural extension offices have released statements gently suggesting that while yoga is beneficial for personal health, it “probably won’t replace fertilizer and actual farming knowledge,” which seems like a reasonable position that shouldn’t need to be stated but apparently does.
Despite skepticism, Crop Yoga has developed a dedicated following, with farmers hosting group sessions and sharing their practices on social media using hashtags like #FarmYoga and #NamasteInTheHaystack. Social media observers note the content is “surprisingly wholesome and also deeply ridiculous,” which seems accurate. Whitmore has announced plans for a follow-up book about “meditation with livestock,” which animal welfare experts have already preemptively condemned as “a terrible idea that will result in injuries.” For now, the corn remains unimpressed with warrior pose, the soybeans couldn’t care less about sun salutations, and farmers are getting more flexible while their yields remain exactly the same, which is basically the entire story of wellness culture meeting reality.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/farmers-practice-crop-yoga-corn-unimpressed/
SOURCE: Farmers Practice Crop Yoga (https://bohiney.com/farmers-practice-crop-yoga-corn-unimpressed/)
