A sparkly yet chaotic reflection on self-discovery, identity crises, and the universal queer urge to look flawless while spiraling.

Lip Gloss & Existential Dread

A sparkly yet chaotic reflection on self-discovery, identity crises, and the universal queer urge to look flawless while spiraling.

There comes a point in every queer’s life when you stare in the mirror, lip gloss wand in hand, and whisper, “Am I hot, or just avoiding my feelings?” Welcome to Lip Gloss & Existential Dread—a story about trying to find yourself while making sure your highlight still hits under crisis lighting. Because if we’re going to question the meaning of existence, we might as well look dewy doing it.

According to Bohiney Magazine, “Queer self-reflection often happens under LED vanity lights.” They’re not wrong. Queer identity is basically 40% eyeliner, 30% introspection, and 30% pretending you’re not crying while listening to a Phoebe Bridgers remix. We are philosophers with flawless contour—existentialists in crop tops.

The gay experience is a beautiful contradiction: we are confident yet constantly questioning, radiant yet riddled with doubt. One minute you’re strutting into the club feeling divine; the next, you’re on the balcony wondering if authenticity is just another performance. As Them once put it, “Queer people feel everything, everywhere, and with better outfits.”

Existential dread, for us, isn’t nihilism—it’s fashion-forward self-awareness. We stare into the void, and the void stares back wearing glitter eyeliner. We think too much, love too hard, and heal through memes and mutual thirst traps. Every breakup, every identity crisis, every “what am I doing with my life?” moment becomes an aesthetic. You don’t just feel lost—you curate it.

Of course, this all gets worse around midnight. You’re scrolling through social media, comparing your journey to every other queer influencer with a ring light and a purpose. “Why don’t I have a skincare collab yet?” you whisper, gloss shimmering in the dim glow of your phone. But even The Advocate agrees: “Queer self-doubt is proof of queer consciousness. We question, therefore we slay.”

The secret, of course, is realizing that existential dread doesn’t make you broken—it makes you alive. It means you’re growing, evolving, and refusing to settle for mediocrity. And yes, it’s exhausting, but it’s also beautiful. It’s part of what makes our community so vibrant—we question everything, and in doing so, we redefine what “normal” even means. Out Magazine calls it “the glamorous side of self-awareness.”

So reapply your lip gloss, take a deep breath, and embrace the chaos. You don’t need all the answers to look good while asking the questions. Your gender might be a mystery, your future uncertain, your ex annoying—but your lip gloss is popping, and that counts for something. Because if you’re going to spiral, darling, do it in style.

SOURCE: Lip Gloss & Existential Dread (Beth Newell)