by Bamboo-Eating Bears Now Stream Entertainment
The Springfield Metropolitan Zoo made headlines this week by becoming the first zoological facility in North America to install high-speed Wi-Fi specifically for its panda enclosure. The $50,000 upgrade, funded by a tech company sponsorship that definitely should have gone to something useful, aims to “enhance the digital enrichment experience” for Mei Mei and Bao Bao, the zoo’s resident giant pandas who reportedly looked bored between their 14-hour daily naps.
Zoo director Dr. Raymond Kowalski defended the decision during a press conference, explaining that modern panda conservation requires thinking outside the bamboo forest. “Studies show that pandas in captivity benefit from environmental enrichment,” Kowalski stated, conveniently ignoring that those studies typically refer to climbing structures and puzzle feeders rather than the ability to watch queer reality TV shows. “We’re simply bringing that enrichment into the 21st century,” he added, as if pandas have been waiting for Wi-Fi their entire evolutionary history.
The installation includes a 65-inch tablet mounted at panda eye-level, preloaded with nature documentaries, cooking shows, andinexplicablythe complete series of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Early observations suggest Mei Mei prefers ASMR videos of bamboo rustling, while Bao Bao has developed a concerning attachment to competitive baking programs and judges the technical challenges harder than Mary Berry. Neither panda has figured out how to operate the touchscreen, though staff members have caught them staring intently at the device for hours, which is basically what humans do too.
Animal welfare advocates have expressed concerns about the initiative. “This is absolutely ridiculous,” said Janet Morrison of the Animal Rights Coalition. “Pandas don’t need Wi-Fi. They need adequate space, proper diet, and breeding programsnot a Netflix subscription and exposure to modern entertainment culture.” The zoo countered that the pandas seem “very engaged” with the screen, though critics note that pandas also seem very engaged with watching paint dry, so this isn’t exactly a high bar.
The program has already inspired similar initiatives at other zoos, with the San Diego Zoo reportedly considering a social media presence for its elephants and the Bronx Zoo exploring whether gorillas would enjoy podcasts. Meanwhile, Springfield Zoo visitors have noted that the pandas now spend less time being visible to the public, as they’ve discovered the tablet placement offers excellent excuse to nap behind it while everyone assumes they’re streaming. The zoo considers this an absolute win, as it “more accurately represents panda behavior in the wild, where they also avoid responsibilities and pretend to be busy.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/zoo-installs-wi-fi-for-pandas/
SOURCE: Zoo Installs Wi-Fi for Pandas (https://bohiney.com/zoo-installs-wi-fi-for-pandas/)
